
*guy looks in my direction* *he could be the one by hannah montana starts playing*

SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR BIO WHERE HE GETS A DUCKLING TO IMPRINT ON HIM SO HE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HIM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES AND I SWEAR THIS DUCK IS THE MOST WELL BEHAVED FUCKING POULTRY IVE EVER SEEN IT JUST SITS ON HIS DESK QUIETLY AND SOMETIMES HE PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET AND IT JUST SLEEPS LIKE WOW YOU GO DUCKY

for being a teen girl i sure do talk about my dick a lot
*begins to rap anxiously in the middle of an exam*
some guy just called my number thinking i was a male prostitute, and he started talking to me about how much he could pay me so i pulled up gunshot noises on my computer and started screaming and he panicked and hung up
911 jUST FFUCKING CALLLLED ME IA AMC LAUGHHING SO HARD I TOLD THEM THE SITUEATION AND I’M STULL FUCMKING LAUGHING BECUASE NO W HTE’YRE TRACING THE GUY TO ARREST HIM FOR TRYING TO SOLICITEA ND PAY FOR SEX
I’VE DONE A GOOD